Father's like this, mother's like this, grandma's like this. :(

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As the subject title goes: pressure & encouragement.
Was watching a random drama show on tv and I came across this line which I find it so true.

Our parents or family members always think that by saying some stuffs, that is a form of encouragement.

But to us, those are not encouraging us, it's only pressurising us. For example, 5 mins ago:

(translated to eng)
Mother: Just study hard, future uni grad student!!
Me: -------no response-------

by telling us to study hard, it's not even encouraging at all, in fact I feel this pressure to study just for them. And "future uni grad student" definitely doesn't help at all. Yes, to them it might seem like they are encouraging us to work towards this goal, but to us, or at least to me, it is as though everyone is having this expectation of me and I have to be pressured into attaining it. I feel like it's a must to have it because they expect it.

So now, I'm a pressured, not encouraged kid.

OH, and "you can do it!!" does not help either. "you confirm can one la" is the worst of the worst. Because that's when you fall the hardest when you don't achieve it.

So when I come to you all and complain bout how I'm gonna do badly for my MYE, don't tell me "can one la" cos I just said I'm gonna do badly and I didn't say it for the fun of it. Just..... just say it's ok and give me a hug and I think that'll be the best encouragement anyone can offer.

Ok this post is getting nowhere bye!

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Hello, I'm having a 37.7degree temperature now. I think smth's wrong with my body, it is like the 5th time (no joke) I'm having fever since jc started. And it's the first time I'm having fever in the midst of exams ): so ya.... Bye

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Someone slap me please. I'm going back to the secondary school ways. which is, if you understand me well, nt going school, not studying at all.

Yes, I have not been going to school. I think I miss school for 10 times or somewhere around there alr. Sometimes because I'm really sick, sometimes because of a slight headache, sometimes just totally pon it. And having pon thursday & friday, it should have been a really productive studying time but no, I have not been studying up till now. Sigh. STUDY AMELIA

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I am just like Nwoye. And just like him, I am gonna walk away from this home someday. I'll forsake this family, and go to God for shelter.

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I've lost all hopes towards family already.

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At the very end of day, I'll still praise God (:

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What if His blessings come through raindrops, what if His healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know His near, what if trials of this life, are His mercies in disguise?
What if my greatest disappointment, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

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Today could have been the worst day ever. all the blows start coming at me at the same time. Trying to stand firm, believing that He would make things right. Still believing.

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我很伤心。

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